Starting this post with how I ended my last post; Cancer is not me. I am actually Libra-n. :)
I turned 46 last October, a mother to an adult child in her final teen year, also to a 10yo furry child. A wife/partner/friend/nuisance to a man I've been married for 20 years, I still very much love and want to be with. I am living this life that is blessed upon me that at times I am ungrateful for. Learning and growing through the joys and pains.
Current joys and blessings - My reads, my solo and sometime-with-the-man walks, our family movie nights, our brunches or meal out, our AUSLAN classes and mostly because of our lovely deaf teacher with her weekly updates/signing that has helped us a lot especially me. Good coffee with a teeny weeny bit of cake/pastry, and even better after getting stuff done. 1-2 hour of binge watching tv series. Sharing what I read, listen and watch with kiddo and hubs. Also talking stupid with the mute cat. Weekly/monthly/random min 1 hour calls with friends, cousin, mom, dad and aunty. Catching up with friends and colleagues especially when my social battery is fully recharged. Getaways, holidays, road trips and random wander especially in bookstores, gift stores and at a market. Sharing and going through Instagram posts/reels with kiddo and goes on a laughing fit through them. Discovering new coffee or makan place with hubs and kiddo. Generally healthy and joyful man and kiddo, family and friends too. Loved and adored. Random connections and chats with random people. Mic and streaming device that connects to my hearing aids, also close captions. Cancer free. Conscious and aware of my mental and physical wellbeing. Supportive healthcare providers; GP, ENTs, QML ladies, and possibly soon Neurologist. Able to have 6-7 hours good night sleeps and enjoy food. A comfortable home. Among others...
Current challenges and learning through - My severe to profound hearing loss. Hearing aids that help but sometimes don't too. Days when I'm triggered by people's reactions/comments on my hearing and overthinking about them. And some other or same days when I'm anxious about my ongoing sinusitis and random sores/tenderness. Having to eat slowly and no talking while eating to avoid from choking. I can only eat or talk/listen at a time because they are no longer easy/enjoyable at the same time. Asking people to repeat, speak slowly, face me, don't cover their mouth, offer the mic, write instead. Perimenopause symptoms. Anger and frustrations which usually entails from miscommunications, misunderstandings and failing to stay objective. Days when I question my actions. The newly discovered micro bleeds in my brain due to cancer radiation treatment. Among others...
The joys clearly outweigh the pains, but they are usually not seen as such until you write them down I reckon. As I write the challenges, I couldn't help to think and acknowledge their blessings too. With my hearing loss - I now learned another language and met the wonderful person my teacher is.
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