Am I Going to Die?

I woke up the next morning with very puffy eyes from crying. 

We were scheduled to meet the Oncologist, Dr Azriff at 9.30 a.m. I didn't know what to expect from the meeting but I prayed that I would be strong to face it. I also prayed hard that Allah will give me a chance to live longer with my loved ones and for me to be a better person. Allah answered my prayers because the meeting with Dr Azrif clarified my worries. I was actually pleased to meet him despite that he officially broke the news that I have cancer.

Based on my preliminary Biopsy result, Dr Azrif was quite certain that I have Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma (NPC) and not Lymphoma. It could be at an early stage (I or II) because NPC is usually detected at a later stage, when patients come for diagnosis with a lump on their neck due to the enlargement of lymph node. I didn't have any visible enlarged lymph nodes but only the 3 cm growth found at the back of my nose. Plus, I didn't have double vision that may suggests the cancer cells have spread to my brain. Dr Azrif said, the survival rate for early stage NPC is quite high, 85-95% for Stage I and 70-80% for Stage II. I was glad hearing it and thought I'm not going to die! Not so soon, Insyallah.

Nonetheless, I needed to go through further tests to confirm. So the week after, I did a Head and Neck MRI to detect any other possible growths and enlarged lymph nodes. I also did PET CT Scan to detect any other cancer cells in my body. It was my first time for both tests. I'm usually practical and relaxed at getting tests done but I felt a little claustrophobic during MRI and it felt so long, even though it was just about 30 minutes or probably less. I had to be IV-ed some radioactive fluid for PET CT Scan thus I had to minimise my contact with children for the day. It broke my heart when I couldn't hug my 7 year old and kiss her good night :(. It was an emotional week for me, even though Dr Azrif was pretty sure that it could be an early stage cancer but you never know right? Nonetheless, I occupied myself with daily routine as a housewife, it was also my kid's exam week and packing since we were scheduled to leave for Umrah that Friday.

Dr Azrif met us again on Thursday to review the MRI and PET CT Scan results. Before the meeting, I prayed that there won't be more alarming news to swallow. And again, Allah answered my prayers, Alhamdulillah. Dr Azrif confirmed that I have borderline Stage II NPC. They didn't detect any other cancer cells in my body and borderline Stage II, because my lymph node near the growth was enlarged by 0.01cm 0.5cm thus it could be affected.

So, I would have about 70-80% 85-95% chance of living, Alhamdulillah. I believed I would live and live long I will, Insyaallah.